Chapter 12: My Mr.Right ( Part 2 )

Hey my loves...I know I been slacking with posting consistently but it's hard when your a parent of 5, so please bare with me, thank you all in advanced! So here's Chapter 12 enjoy...

I arrived back in Puerto Rico towards the ending of August, I was really happy to see my babies again I really missed them alot. I was struggling badly I was missing my hunny so much, but things didn't change we would talk hours on the phone everyday and we would send pictures back and forth to eachother on our daily activities so we could feel close to one another. About to weeks passed and I did not get my period when I was suppose to and decided to take a pregnancy test and ofcourse the results were positive, we weren't being careful at all, which was bad on my end. I did the next best thing send Fernando the picture of the pregnancy test and almost immediately he called me. I didn't want to have another baby especially not knowing if this relationship was going anywhere. When he called we spoke and we agreed on a abortion of sorts. My neighbor that lived under me had a daughter that worked at a pharmacy and could get me the abortion pills for cheap that way I wouldn't have to go to San Juan that was 3 hours away driving and pay full price, I paid $100 for the pills and had to insert them in my kitty and in less than 24 hours I was baby free. I always been against abortions and promised this to be the first and last time I felt horrible but knew it was for the best. Things between Fernando and I was awesome but my relationship with my mother was getting bad, mom knew that I had fallen in love with Fernando and he lived in New York she was afraid that I would leave with the kids and she wanted me to stay in Puerto Rico which I felt was unfair. My mom and I was having more and more problems I was still struggling with the post partum depression and she would stay with Kylie alot of the time and she started threatening to go to court and take my daughter away from me because I couldn't care for her but I believe it was more because she was upset that I was engaged and leaving her again. I had a rough month going to court and stuff and one day my hunny calls me and says pack up I'm sending your ticket to come live with me and we both knew that's the best thing to do after all the legal problems I was going through with my mom. My mom and I came to a agreement that I will take Kylie with me first and come back after settling down for my son Jeremiah. Mom wasn't happy but knew she didn't have a say in this. I tried selling as much stuff as I could from my apartment and left mom with my keys so she could finish emptying the apartment and I packed my luggage and took off with Kylie to New York on October 6, 2012. When I arrived with Kylie and went to baggage claim, I was looking around frantically because I missed my baby so much and then I saw him. He gave me the same smile he gave me when I first saw him. He walked towards us gave me a kiss and started playing with Kylie, but Kylie seemed a little scared lol. When we arrived to his house Kylie met Abby Fernando's daughter and they instantly became close sister's. Things was great and couldn't get better. We started planning on a date to get married and Fernando knew I always wanted to get married in the winter months so he chose to marry me on December 24, 2012. It was kind of stupid that we were getting married 6 months after dating but it felt so right, and on that day we got married and had my cousin Jean there and a friends of ours named stephanie and Ilber. The girls was dressed in beautiful red dresses and I wore a nice cream colored dress and Fernando wore a nice suit nothing fancy since we were getting married through City Hall. We left City Hall as husband and wife, and the best day ever. We had a great Christmas and New Year, and my husbands birthday was coming fast on January 12, 2013 he was going to turn the big 30, and he wanted to celebrate it so we did. We bought 2 cakes, decorations at party city, and ofcourse snacks and liquor. The party was great and my husband was shit faced wasted by 12 am lol and so was many of us. We cut the party off at around 3 am and we was trying to sober Fernando up because he was wasted with tequila shots. We decided to record him talking rubbish and I tried to sober him up by telling him I was pregnant lol but that didn't work well. The next day was cleaning day and recovery day. About a week later I was super sick vomiting and bad abdominal pain so my friend took me to St.Lukes hospital in 116st. Once there I had to take a routine pregnancy test then placed in a room, a while later the doctor comes in and says congratulations you are pregnant and was going to get a sonogram. So before I continue before this pregnancy I had about 2 miscarriages after arriving in New York City because I was always so stressed so when the doctor told me I was pregnant I was negative about it. I felt that I would lose this baby too and my blessing came to a end, I had 2 children and now a stepdaughter so I was blessed either way. When they did the sonogram they confirmed my fear they said I had a ectopic pregnancy and would eventually miscarry. I was upset and hurt but couldn't do much about it, the told us we conceived on our wedding night which didn't make me feel any better. I wanted to have a baby with my husband but I could only pray for a miracle. I made a follow up appointment with my gynecologist and went in the office and did a check up she told me that I did not have a ectopic pregnancy and would send me across the street to get a sonogram, I ran across the street and got the best news I was pregnant and the baby was just fine. I can't tell you guys how fast I went home I told my husband and he was happy and told me "I told you so" lol. Our due date was for September 16, 2013. We went in to find out the sex of our baby and we were both rooting for a baby boy. And can you believe we was expecting a BOY! The day I had my son it was crazy. My husband had taken the kids and I out for dinner (Jeremiah was now in NY ) we ate dinner but had to rush home after Jeremiah peed on himself after dinner, I wasn't complaining I was 8 months pregnant, swollen and exhausted and was having Braxton Hicks Contractions. All I wanted was a hot shower and to lay down. When we got home I bathed the kids and sent them to bed and it was now my turn to shower. These Braxton Hicks Contractions was hurting me like cramps and I hate cramps so I took a hot shower and felt better afterwards. All of a sudden my mother in law bursts through my room door asking me why I was spitting the mucus in the tub and I shook my head like I didn't spit at all what is this woman talking about. I told her to show me but she said she had already cleaned it, I was puzzled but whatever I went on with my business. I started getting strong pains and that's when everything clicked I had lost my mucus plug and I was in labor. I called my labor & delivery and explained to them what was going on and they told me o needed to come in. I was now nervous and upset. Upset because I had nothing packed for the hospital so I told my husband and he was all to happy to help me pack. We packed the baby's bag and my bag and went to tell my mother in law that we was heading to the hospital. She thought I was overreacting to everything and said I was wasting my time to go. Even if I was wasting my time I wanted to be sure. The pain wasn't to bad so we decided to take the train to the hospital and I swear that was the worst. In the train the pains was getting more intense, this was the first time in my life that I  was experiencing labor pains and it wasn't fun. The walk to the hospital felt like an eternity. When we finally arrived to labor & delivery we was given forms to fill out, during this time another couple arrived but she was on the verge of giving birth right there and then and scared me half to death. It was now my turn to go on the monitors, I was given a Tylenol and laid down to be monitored. I was feeling my son move way to much, he was having a party all on his own. When the nurses came to check on the monitors they told me I was having steady contractions and I will be having my son as soon as a operating room became free. I slept the night and my husband slept on the chair next to me, we was awaken by the nurse that was ready to prep me for surgery. This would be the first time that I would have someone with me during my C-section, I was scared and didn't want to leave my husband's side but had to for prepping. When they were done they called my husband right in and he stood by me while they started operating, a short time later I heard my son cry...and that was one of the best times I could've shared with my husband. They didn't bring me my son and I started to panic, I wanted to know why I haven't seen my son yet, my husband went to see what was going on since I was helpless while they were finishing my surgery. My husband came back and told me they had to rush him to the Nicu because he was having trouble breathing. I felt my heart drop to the floor, when they brought me out the the recovery section and they gave me his footprints I started to cry I wanted to see my son so bad. I sent my husband constantly to check on the baby, they finally moved me up to my room and I immediately got up and told the nurse to take me to the Nicu and she told me I couldn't go til tomorrow and they were in for something else because I was not having that. So I told them if they wouldn't take me I would get up and go myself. The couldn't take that risk with me because I just had surgery and still had anesthesia in me. The nurse ran and got me a wheelchair and took me to my baby. As soon as I saw my son tears fell down, I never had seen any of my kids like this before, my son had tube down his throat, uv lights he looked so bad. He was gorgeous he was so white with little peach fuzz hair. I was determined to make my baby feel better, one nurse told me to pump and give him whatever I could pump out and it will make him stronger. I knew from prior experience that I had very little milk supply but I would try to get out as much as I could. I pumped every chance I got at first I would pump 1 oz and that would take me forever but that did not discourage me j kept at it til that 1 oz turned to 5 oz. I had to leave and he had to stay behind and that had to be the hardest thing I had to do. The day I left the hospital we had to go in a immediate baby shopping spree because he came a couple weeks early and we hadn't bought anything but clothes. I was in pain but I took my pain meds headed to Apple bee with my husband had lunch and went on shopping. We had to get a bassinet, stroller,car seat, blankets, diapers, wipes, bottles etc so much to do. I would cry everyday that my son stood in the hospital and I would visit everyday. About a week later they said he was healthy to leave the hospital and that was like music to my ears. A prince was born on August 31,2013 at 10:23 am weighing 7lbs 8 oz. So from a family of 5 we became a family of 6.

I hope you all enjoyed Part 2 of my Mr.Right chapter. We are soon nearing the end so the next post will be Friday night and then Sunday. Remember to follow my blog so you will always be informed of my newest posts, leave a comment or question down below and I'll answer as soon as I can. Love you all X0x0Xox0X.

Fantasy & Desires: My thoughts on anal sex..

Hey my loves...It's Monday and I'm doing a sex talk Sunday just because I do not know what happened. I scheduled this blog post to be posted yesterday and that did not happen which is weird but any who...This blog is about my thoughts on anal sex, so let's get this going!!

Today we will be discussing my views on anal sex, would I recommend having anal sex and some safety first tips. I came up with this topic based on conversations I've had with some female friends and questions they have asked me.

My views on Anal sex:

If you all would've asked me on my views about anal sex a couple years back, I would've said hell fucking no...don't do it etc. I was one who always said it's an exit not a entrance, pretty much against it. Now my way of thinking has changed because I have actually tried it with my husband and really have enjoyed the experience. Some things you need to have in mind is that it will be painful at first but then pleasure will follow. I think that the size of the penis is important when thinking about having anal sex, because if your man is long but not thick it won't be too painful, but if your man is thick long/short that's when it will be painful. Your anus is a muscle so it can stretch to accommodate a penis that thick but the process will be painful as the man inserts his dick inside. I will give helpful tips to make the experience some what painless. I believe you should give it a try, you never know if that will be something you might really enjoy. I went out of my comfort zone and tried it with my husband and have really enjoyed the pleasures of anal sex, I have had very intense and amazing orgasms from anal sex but ofcourse I go by my own tips to make it less painful so keep reading.

Tips to keep in mind when having anal sex:

1. You more than anybody knows your man's dick size, the question you must ask yourself is are you ready to feel all of it up your...ummmm butt!

2. Be prepared!! Men don't feel the pain of anal sex just the pleasure part of it so it's up to you to make this experience a good one. Make sure to have lots of lube available, a numbing anal cream believe me this will be your saving grace, anal beads and/or butt plugs this will be used on your own to start preparing your ass for penis. I buy all of our bedroom needs at Adam and eve it's a online sex shop, so check it out.

3. Please ladies do yourself and your partner a favor and take a shit before having anal sex, you do not want to have shit coming out while having sex that's just disgusting.

4. When your partner is finally inside of your ass it will feel uncomfortable but roll with the punches, start rubbing your clit and the sensation will change from uncomfortable to amazing.

5. The more often you have anal sex the less pain you will feel, so try having anal sex about 3 times a week. You don't need your partner for this all the time, use your anal beads and butt plugs til you can handle a dildo.

These are my 5 most helpful tips I can give you for having anal sex, it works for me and I'm pretty sure it will work for you. Go into this experience with a open mind and just let go and have fun. Lastly I want to tell you ladies & gentleman's is to use a condom always when doing anal sex even if you guys are a couple that don't use condoms. Why I say this well, you don't want your man's dick in a shit hole then have him place it in your pussy...that's 1. Nasty and 2. Bound to catch a infection 3. Messy. Or if you don't want to use condoms for anal just make sure to leave anal sex towards the ending of sex and just stick to that only. All in all just have fun, I recommend trying it out and see if it's something you like and if so continue doing so, remember you can do every position with anal just like regular sex, so get creative and live a little! Love you all X0x0Xox0X.

Cozy VoxBox Review

Today's blog post is going to be a little different, but please note i will be doing product reviews on upcoming blogs. Today's blog is about my Influenster cozy voxbox, so for those that don't know about Influenster, its a website that anyone can sign up too and make a profile, you can give your reviews on everyday products that you use or have used for others to see, you get graded on your influence meaning all your social media outlets and how active you are on your social media as well on writing reviews and getting badges. I definitely recommend this site so please go check it out, its super easy to use and you never know if you will receive a voxbox. The Cozy voxbox i received was sent to me totally free for me to review the items.

So first off i want to start out on how excited i am to have received my first voxbox from Influenster. I received a email stating i got picked and less than a week later i received my box. when i first opened my box i was siked. I will list down the products i received and my review on each item:

1. Simple Cleansing Facial Wipes-
The pack brings 7 wipes, seems more like a sample pack but that's fine. I am one who loves make-up so I knew that this would be one of the first items that I would use. I just used the wipes two days ago and let me tell you it worked great! All I needed to use was one wipe and it took all my makeup off. I did have to go and use my eye makeup remover liquid just because I was using long wear mascara and really needed a bit more help removing it off. But that didn't bother me as I do that anyways with my current facial wipes. I will definitely repurchase. The cost of this item is $5.99 for the 25 ct pack, not badly priced but works well and is especially made for sensitive skin so that's a plus in my book.

2. Maybelline Super Stay 24 Color-
I received the super stay 24 color in the shade 025 Keep Up The Flame. To receive this product it was freaking awesome since many of you know I am a make-up addict lol. I just used this product today since 11 AM this morning and its now 6 PM and its still there even after I ate, it did get a slight bit lighter but no big difference. This product sells for $9.49, I think I would repurchase in the near future.

3. Pilot FriXion Clicker Pen-
I was sent 2 FriXion clicker pens. One in red and the other in blue, I am just going to jump right into it and say I love these pens! Yeah I know many of you are going to say "It's just a pen" but it is not just a pen. Th is pen is awesome it is erasable and u would not even know. I am one that makes many mistakes when I write anything so these came in handy. I will definitely repurchase these pens for sure. The price on these babies are $6.99 for a pack of 3 at office depot, this price is perfect for the quality of these pens so make sure to grab yourself a pack or two.

4. Daisy Squeeze Sour Cream-
I was not sent an actual sour cream squeeze bottle but they gave me a coupon for one free full size sour cream. And girl you already know I went to my supermarket and grabbed me one for Friday's Taco Night. I usually purchase the one that comes in the plastic container and it's a mess after you're done. With this product it was easy and non messy just the way I like things to be and of course it was delicious. I will go on and buy this form of the Daisy sour cream from now on. The price for this item is $3.49 and it's a decent size for the price.

5. Country Crock Spread- 
Once again they did not send a container of butter in my box lol, they did put in a coupon for a free container of butter. This is the usual brand I buy for my butter, I love this product its smooth and taste great. The price for this item is $3.12.
 
 

Chapter 11: My Mr.Right ( Part 1 )

Hey my loves!!!
I know I have been away for a couple of days and I do have a explanation for that. As many of you guys know my daughter has been sick and still is but is doing a bit better. Also you guys are aware that election day was a few days ago and I been a bit in a rage about our new president, but I will not go into politics on my blog as this is just a special space for all of my family and friends near and far to get a glimpse of my life. I also want to give you guys a brief update on my newest plans so far, you all know I was giving you a new chapter every day but we are nearing the end of my life chapters and soon I will just have life blogs on my current lifestyle and instead of doing daily updates I will bring you guys 2 life blogs and I will continue with Sex talk Sunday's and maybe a bonus random vlog here and there. Okay so that's what's going on so far so please stay and enjoy reading Chapter 11....

On June 17, 2012 my cousin Jean had reached out to me and was comforting me on my rant on the bad luck I was having with men in my life and j had told him I don't think I would be dating men anymore and would go with girls. As I have mentioned in one of my previous chapters I am bisexual. Jean told me that he had a good guy for me that had a little girl and like you guys know I was hesitant, and too sweeten the deal my cousin told me he had heard that he had a big dick lol so FYI I think that's why I decided hey why not!! On June 17, 2012 it was Father's day so I decided to reach out to Fernando and write him a message wishing him a Happy Father's day and who was I and that my cousin had told me to talk to him, I sent a friend request and decided to wait for a response. A couple hours later I had a message from him and a accepted friend request. In his message he was sweet and respectful, he told me he was 29 and was Dominican etc., so I decided to send him my number to get to know eachother better on the phone, I went into his Facebook profile to be greeted by a gorilla profile picture. I was horrified I kept saying omg I hope he isn't ugly lol, I went into his pictures and to my surprise he was very handsome and his daughter was precious! Later that night he called me and we spoke for a couple hours and we immediately hit it off and became boyfriend and girlfriend through long distance. I told him alot about my life story and my children and he told me about his and we had alot in common there. Ofcourse since I pretty much have zero filter I asked him about his dick size lol which girls this is a very important question to ask, you do not want to be surprised by a micro penis lol okay okay let me stop. He busted into a hefty laugh and said that's what he has been told so I went big and bold and asked for a picture and can you believe he did not shy away and sent it to me lol...Let's just say my eyes was very satisfied with the view. I thought it would be only fair and send him a nice picture in lingerie so he can feast his eyes, oh and yes he did!! Things were great in the beginning, we spoke hours on the phone everyday and I discovered he had a beautiful voice and he would sing to me on the phone every night. We were very active with eachother through Facebook and would be lovey dovey all th time on our posts or comments. One day on one of his pictures I came across a comment from a female named Reina and it was a flirtatious one and I immediately called my cousin and asked who the fuck was she, I was upset because they both told me he was single but the way she was responding it sounded a bit more like a courtship.y cousin went on to tell me that was a ex of his and that they were done and over and he was pretty sure she was saying those things since she knew that there was a new woman in the picture. After hanging up with Jean I called Fernando and asked him about the girl and he told me the same thing my cousin said so I just shook off the feeling and let it go. The following day I see a fucking picture that he was tagged on with this bitch both hugging and when I tell you my blood was boiling it was. Now the reason I was upset was because I didn't want to be used or played with I wanted something sincere. I immediately called my cousin since his trifling ass was tagged in the picture too. When he answered all he said was he don't know what's going on but he knows Fernando is single and to talk to him about it, and shit you know I was. Immediately after hanging up I called Fernando and my tone of voice was not a pleasant one and he told me that Jean and him went fishing and she went along and they just took a picture which in all honesty I was not buying it at all. He told me she was a ex of his from about 10 years ago when they dated in high school and she had cheated on him or something like that and he was getting his revenge on her by using her. That did not sit well with me. He told me to give him a few days and he will get rid of her and when it was done he would call me, you know my blood was beyond boiling I told him off and told him to forget my number and I'll do the same. It didn't matter to me because we was just dating online and we haven't even met and besides he was 3,000 miles away, but to be honest my heart ached because I really liked him and I thought we was hitting it off and was thinking maybe he would be my Mr.Right. A couple days went by and I didn't delete his number like I said, I was mad not stupid. So I decided to be slick and send him a text acting like I didn't know whose number was it. He texted back and said it was him and I was like oh ok hi and how was everything going? He told me the girl was a done deal and I was all his. If he only knew how I jumped all over my room with excitement because that means my chance wasn't over. Needless to say the drama continued for like another week but this time I was not giving up on my man no matter what this girl was saying because Fernando would call me multiple times a day for hours. A month of dating online passed and I was very happy, but sad because I wanted to see him in person, so one day I casually asked him if I would go to New York would he be happy and he said yeah and that I could stay with him. So I was a girl on a mission, I called my ex husband and told him that I needed him to purchase me round trip tickets to New York because I wanted to see my dad, yeah I lied so what! And within 10 minutes I had my round trip ticket dated for August 11, 2012 for 2 weeks. When I called him with the news he was beyond excited and we were now counting down the days. I eventually spoke to my mom about him and that I would be going to visit him for 2 weeks and needed her to stay with the kids while I went to visit, and to my surprise she didn't disagree. She felt like I was grown enough now to make choices in my life and genuinely just wanted to see me happy. On August 1, 2012 my baby girl kylie turned 1 years old and I had a birthday party for her planned on the 10th the day before my trip. Her party was a success and I was exhausted and had to give my babies a kiss and head home to start packing, yeah I know I waited for the last minute. I packed up, did my hair and layed down til the next morning. That morning I was so freaking nervous, my stomach was turning, it was going to be the first time I would meet my boyfriend lol. My home girl Ivette drove me to the airport I touched up my makeup and made sure I was looking great. The flight was 3 hours too long and my stomach was in knots, I felt like I was going to hyperventilate. When the plane arrived, that's it my nerves had the best of me. My knees was weak, I was shaking, teeth was clicking, I was a mess. I remembered waiting behind the sliding doors trying to catch my breath. I was very happy but there was a problem. I couldn't see from far, I hadn't had glasses in forever and needed them badly, and at this time I needed it the most. I was as blind as a bat. I took a deep breath called him and confidently walked out and told him I was by the baggage claim and he told me to look to the left that he was seeing me, problem was I didn't see him. I tell you know that I didn't need blush, I naturally was red in the cheeks. All of a sudden I hear the only loud crowd, full of yelling Dominicans and I just knew that it was that direction that I needed to go. Sure enough there stood Fernando. When I first saw him I was stuck, he was not my type at all! He was about 5'9 and chunky, but he had a nice smile, and wasn't bad looking. I gave him a big hug and our first tap kiss lol. He had picked me up with his friends, so that explained the extreme loudness in the airport. On the ride to his place, I remembered sneaking a text to my mom that went something like this " Mommy please save me, change my ticket date sooner he is not my type at all and 2 weeks with him will be torture", her response was the best one yet " Well that's too bad for you deal with it, in life there is more to someone beyond there appearance so try looking at inner beauty and maybe then you will find happiness", this is the best thing my mom ever told me. We finally arrived at his house, he lived there with his mother and daughter and I was nervous as hell...luckily when we got upstairs no one was home or else I would've died from a panic attack. When we got in he dropped my luggage at the door and took my hand to the bedroom. All I could tell myself was look Jericka get it together and make the best of shit, you put yourself in this predicament. When we got to the bedroom he literally flung me on the bed, and at that moment all worries left out the window. I was sexually frustrated it had been like 4 months that I had sex and masturbating was not the same as penetration and my body needed to feel a man. He started kissing me and undressing me rather quickly, next thing I know I have become his meal, he was hungrily licking my...well you get the point!  Lol omg!! He started taking his clothes off and jesus christ when he pulled them boxers off, I nearly came just by his size. He was very ummmm thick and I was drooling lol. He made love to me so good and after that he became exactly my type!!! Later that day his mom gets home with his daughter and that lady nearly atr his head, Fernando lied to me and he did not ask his mother permission for me to stay there, i was in a panick i was like Omg what am i going to do if his mom kicks my ass out, i dont know what he told her but he managed to persuade her to let me stay. Days was passing by and I was falling deeply in love with him, he was so sweet and at times rough. He would sing to me and make me smile so big! For the first time in my life I felt like I could be myself, be goofy, and all and he wouldn't go anywhere. Two weeks went by way to fast, the night before my trip I remember that I cooked and after dinner we was listening to music and the song came up from Romeo Santos " Llevame contigo " and he started singing it to me, and at that moment I knew he was my happily ever after and god then confirmed it, he grabbed my hand and asked me to marry him, and I said yes and he slipped on my ring. We made sweet passionate love and a video too lol. Who knew when will I see him again but we both knew that we was eachother's happiness. The next day was very hard for me the whole ride to the airport I cried and he held me, I wanted to go home because I missed my babies but I also didn't want to leave my love behind. We said our goodbye and he left and I swear I felt my heart rip out and leave with him. But what would come next was amazing...

Thank you all for reading this chapter of my life as this is where my happiness and life started to have more meaning. Don't hesitate to leave a message and follow me at the bottom of my blog page. Love you all X0x0Xox0X and make sure to check-in tomorrow for Chapter 12: My Mr.Right  ( Part 2 ).

Chapter 10: From rags to riches...

Hey dolls!! I know, I know I didn't put up this chapter yesterday but my little is pretty sick and yesterday was not a good day to sit and peacefully vlog for you guys. I hope you guys understand but without further wait here is chapter 10 😘

The site I went to was Sugardaddyforme.com, and when I got in I just registered and ofcourse they ask if you want to upgrade but I didnt. I was browsing and came up with a few men I messaged but I was going for older men because idk I felt they might just want company or someone to talk to. The first day you have to wait to get approved, but the next day I had a message from a man named Ron, he was 52 and lived in Utah, he owned his own business and his financial status was in the millions. At first I was like yeah fucking right, probably some fake as person. I messaged him for about a week and he was nice. He asked for my number and he called. I was so freaking nervous I didn't know what to say but I wanted to play it off because I needed this to work for me. He asked if I lived alone I said yes and I had 2 kids and he said that was great, he only had a son and he was 32. He asked me if I have had luck on the site before and I was honest and said this was my first time, he giggled and said lucky him. We spoke a little of everything about my family etc. Kiara was such a sweet lil girl so when I put her on the phone one day to say hi he fell in love with her personality and always had a soft spot for her. He told me he was going to send me some money through western union and needed my address, I didn't care since all I had was a p.o box and within a hour he called with a confirmation number. So I called my mom and told her that he sent money and I needed a ride, she asked how much I said idk. My dumb ass didn't know that I needed to put the amount being received so I had to call him, so I did. He told me to go to western union then text him and he will tell me how much. In my head I was like this sounds like a scam but I'll roll with the punches. Once there I texted him and he gave 2 instructions as follows 1. Take $500 and buy kiara a laptop for school 2. Enjoy and have fun my love! And I had my jaw dropped when a second text comes in with the amount. Let's just say I nearly fainted. He said he sent $2,500 and had the nerve to say I hope that's enough if not text me back and I'll send u more. I jumped out the car so fast without telling mom anything went inside and filled my form out and sure enough I was handed $2,500 in sweet cash. They put the money in a manila envelope just so it won't be obvious and I practically ran to the car. When I get in my mom says well..how much was it? I just hand her the envelope and she looks at me with wide eyes before opening it. When my mother saw the amount sent she nearly died. But my mom said you through the line now reel in the bait, you must continue seeing where this leads hopefully marriage, and my answer was oh please mom this site is not for marriage. That afternoon I treated all of us to eat, then a shopping spree at the mall. You see I had just moved into my own apartment like 4 months before and was doing my best to make it feel like home but now I had the money to do so. I went shopping for clothes, shoes, bags clothes for the kids and shoes, gave like $50 each to my sister and brother to buy whatever they wanted, and kiara's money for her laptop I gave to mom along with $200 extra just for her. I was in heaven I bought so much crap from microwave, bed in a bag sets, crib bedding, etc. When I got home I called him and told him thank you and he answered back anytime. The next day I felt great I had money in my pocket, bills was paid, kids was good my life was feeling a bit better. That day I did some food shopping and was exhausted, my daughter kylie was a nightmare as a baby she was a very bad colic baby which meant sleepless nights for me. Kylie at the time was 1 month old. That night I treated my son and I too some Burger King and called it a night early. When I woke up I woke up to 2 messages from Ron and 2 from my mom, I proceeded to read Ron's message and nearly fell off the bed, it said "Good morning beautiful hope kylie let you get some rest, I need you to shower and head over to Western Union I sent you a nice gift". I was like are u freaking kidding me I still had like $800 left from the last "gift" he sent me but I was not going to sit here like a idiot and complain. I answered with "Thanks hunny I'll go as soon as I can, have a great day at work", I remembered mom had texted me and asked me if I wanted to go to Walmart because she wanted to see if she could find kiara a laptop there, so I told her yeah sure. When she arrived I came down with my babies, stroller and baby bag ready too go, mom looks at me and says "why the hell you look so happy after you told me you didn't sleep last night" I just showed her the confirmation number and she just looks at me and says "Again?". I didn't answer and we drove to the western union by my house. When I get inside it's the same young lady that attended me and she smiles and asks if I need a money order I tell no I'm there to pick up my money, she looks at me and says I'm a lucky girl, I just laugh and say yeah I guess. Same thing again he told me no amount so I text him and he says it's the same amount as last time that will be your every other day allowance. I kid you not I dropped to my knees and thanked god for this amazing blessing. I go back out to the car with another manila envelope and mom mouth just dropped and all I said was same amount. And we drove in silence. This happened for about 2 weeks, during this time we agreed to meet and he purchased my ticket to fly down to Utah to meet him, and ofcourse sent me cash to buy clothes and a new stroller for kylie etc. I was leaving jeremiah behind because I wanted time to spend with him, I brought kylie along because she was so tiny and needed me. My mom was a bit skeptical about him, she would say how about he kill you and I would just glare at her lol. About 2 weeks before my trip Ron and I was talking and I asked him if he ever got married and he said no but would like to someday and I agreed with him. Then he said "Jericka I know we haven't met but I'm getting older and I really like you, would you do me the honor and marry me?" Let's just say I think the whole Puerto Rico heard me scream, then I said "yes". Now before you guys start talking crap let's be real, I had 2 small kids, no job, and a shitty ass life so far and here is this man offering me the world, I thought about my kids and did what I thought was right. He told me to do all the preparations needed, book a venue, food, drinks, guests, dress etc. I finally told mom she was hesitant but encouraged me to go for it. We found my venue almost immediately because I loved the location it was in Hotel Cofresi in Rincon, Puerto Rico. The hotel offered me the venue, the decorations, food, drinks, etc so I was sold and the total was $6,000 for about 20 guests and I called Ron, handed the lady the phone and she charged him and it was onto the next. I had to find a dress and at first wanted a beautiful white  dress but as days passed I felt less excited and more like doomed. I wasn't happy, I didn't love this man so I settled for black, a nice black dress. I took care of the paperwork and in a few days left to Utah. Oh my god that trip was tiring...I had to do a layover in New York then straight to Utah. When I arrived I was scared, it was somewhere I've never been too. When I arrived he picked me up in his beautiful pick up truck, my first impression of Ron was, Oh fucking god he looks old but not ugly. We arrived at his house at jesus christ it was gorgeous, huge, lots of cars in front and was greeted by the maid. Yessssssss I was in heaven!! He showed me what would be "our" room and then jeremiah room and last kylie's room. The house had 3 floors. And I could totally get use to this lifestyle. That night he picked up take out food and it was good. He took off to watch TV and left me with Adrianna the maid. We got to know eachother, she was in her 50's and was from Transylvania. Yessssssss people that's a real place! It was good that we got along but he did tell me not to be to friendly with the help, but ofcourse I didn't listen. Ron came into the kitchen got a ice cream and left again, about 15 minutes passed he came out to throw the wrapper away and when he spoke I swear I died about 20 times and lived. He had NO TEETH!! My face must of looked mortified because after he left the maid was bursting in laughter, I was not at all amused but couldn't contain the laughter. She asked me if I had known and I said hell no, and she told me "well get use to it because your kids need it" then winked. My stay in Utah was great, we shopped and ate around, he showed me the mountains and I instantly fell in love with Utah. The night before our flight back to Puerto Rico he proposed and gave me a beautiful diamond ring and I saw our wedding band it was gorgeous. He paid a fortune that I know. We made it back to Puerto Rico and he stood at my house. I felt really poor compared to him but hey it was my home and not once did he complain. The day before the wedding he left back to my house with joshua and I stood with mom, I used the excuse that the groom isn't suppose to see the bride, but in reality I just wanted to spend time with my mom. I was nervous and afraid, I would no longer live in Puerto Rico but I was not giving in my apartment just yet. On the day of the wedding I got my hair and nails done, and did my own makeup and was ready. We was on a time schedule because we was getting married on the beach while the sun was setting. I didn't really care I almost did not make it, I had cold feet. My grandpa walked me down the aisle. And as the woman was marrying us I was hoping that someone would raise there hand and object but nobody did, and I knew I was fucked. We did not have a honeymoon, we went straight home and to sleep. Not once did we have sex during our marriage. We left to Utah like 2 days after being married with both kids, when we arrived he had bought kylie a beautiful canopy crib and jeremiah a full size car bed awesome! It was easy to get adjusted to living there, I bought over 20 books to read that way every night I would read on the couch til I fell asleep so I  wouldn't have sex with him. Thanksgiving came and I cooked but I was very lonely, I missed my family and it wasn't the same. Around Christmas we bought a huge tree and decorated it, the kids had massive amounts of toys but I wasn't happy. On Christmas he gave me a necklace with a key and covered in diamonds and he said I held the key to his heart, I nodded and gave him a hug. That night I was smoking in the garage because it was freezing out when he busted the door open and scaring me to death. He was arguing about how I wouldn't sleep with him or how I was always on my phone. He kept telling me without him I was trash and that pissed me off. I followed him back inside and in the kitchen I asked for a divorce, (we had a prenuptial so I didn't care for the money) he yelled in my face while spat at me NO! And that was it for me, I grabbed the butcher knife and chased him around til he agreed to follow so, and he did, he printed the divorce papers to take to court and the next day he paid and we was divorcing. He begged me to stay after New year's, I didn't want to but I felt I owed him that much, so I stayed. I packed all I could and he drive me to the airport. Now before I continue please note that he would give me his Black card to spend but never gave me cash. Anyways back to the airport. When he dropped me off, he took my bags out, gave me $100 a left me right there. It was freezing out and I had the kids and all the stuff, I broke down crying. A gentleman helped me with my things to check in. I had a layover again in New York but I stuck out the 8 hours with the kids and got on the flight back home. Oh I forgot to mention that while being in Utah I kept in contact with Orlando and he knew I was coming back, he said he wanted us to be together so I asked him to come live with us. So when I arrived mom picked me up and dropped me off, and about 3 hours later Orlando moved in, I'm going to spare the details on him but he only lived with me 2 months and I kicked him out because he wasn't doing shit to help me, so I didn't need him, and just like that he was gone again. Months passed and nights was getting lonely, I would have occasional booty calls with Edison, but I wanted more I wanted to love and feel loved but that wasn't happening, so I publicly stated on Facebook that I was over men and wanted a girlfriend. My cousin Jean immediately inboxes me asking if I'm nuts lol so I talk with him and he tells me that he has a friend that's a nice guy but he has a daughter. I cut him off and said nope because I dated a guy with a daughter (Orlando) and that didn't work out well. So he told me just give it a shot so I agreed...so I reached out to a guy named Fernando that lived in New York City on June 17, 2012. God had a nice surprise in store for me!!! So make sure to read Chapter 11 tomorrow...lol

My thoughts:
Very simple, best decision I made was to divorce Ron because he had showed me h I w aggressive he could become and also because I wasn't happy. I had gotten in that relationship in the hopes of giving my children a better future, but I realized that my happiness matters as well. I have no regrets on this at all because I was going to be very happy in the end.

* I know I promised you all 2 chapters tonight but I wrote a lot for this chapter so chapter 11 will be posted tomorrow, we will continue with one blog a day...I have a painful migraine and even writing this portion of the blog is killing me.*

I hope you all are enjoying these chapters, and if so remember to follow me at the bottom of the page to get alerts and notifications that a new post was added...love you all X0x0Xox0X

Fantasy & Desires: When is a good time to lose your virginity?

Here we are for another sex talk Sunday's Fantasy & Desires discussion. Today's topic is "When is a good time to lose your virginity?", this topic was a requested topic from one of my blog readers she is 17 years old, in her last year of high school. She lives with her parents that are Christian and was raised in the belief of being married before having sex. Trisha  is the young girl asking for my advice and those of others, she feels comfortable with me using her real name as she believes no one will know it's her. So please guys leave a comment below with your own opinions on the subject and your advice for Trisha.

Hey Trisha,
This question is kind of a tough one for me to answer. I don't know if you read my earlier vlogs about my life, but I lost my virginity at 13. I will say this though before I get into details and give you my advice. I feel comfortable enough to give you my advice because one I am now 27 years old and have children, and two I made many mistakes in my life and learned from them and feel wise enough to give you my personal opinion. Moving along, Trisha hunny I want to first congratulate you on your last year of high school, you are almost there! I'm very happy and excited to meet someone that still has her virginity intact, because now in days it's rare to see girls hold on to there virginity just because they want to fit in with the "cool" crowd or are to self concious and or pressured to do so. Well baby girl based off the email you wrote to me, you tell me you are dating a boy that's 20 years old, you guys been together for 1 year and he been asking you to prove to him you love him by having sex or giving him head, so I'm about to rant just be warned. Trisha I have a 17 year old sister and I will go bat shit crazy to know that she is in a relationship with a 20 year old, because a guy that age is already experienced and gives zero fucks on just using you for another gem on his belt. What I mean by this is that sometimes the man just want to be able to take away your virginity for bragging to there friends. On another note I'm fucking furious that he is even telling you that in order to prove to him that you love him you must have sex with him or suck his dick, well hunny I have 3 words for you  LOSE THIS ASSHOLE...You should never feel pressured to have sex with anyone unless you're ready to do so and having sex with someone to just prove to them that you love them that's just retarded to me. I feel like your virginity is something precious and you should want to give it to someone that you love but that you know that the moment is right and that you not being forced into doing it. You also asked when is the right time to lose your virginity? Well honestly my love their is no right time, it's just something that you will know when the time comes and you know. For some it's at 16 and for others it's well in their 20's. You also asked if I think you should wait til marriage to do so, and honestly I think that's a bit of unrealisticness that parents tell their children lol but it's also not impossible it all goes according to how YOU want to go about it. The last piece of advice that I will give you is to think things through and come to a decision that you want to do for yourself. From what I hear you are not sure and are very focused in school right now and busy working part time, girl have fun being a teenager go party, laugh every chance you get then think about the seriousness of losing your virginity remember that having your virginity is special and you can only lose it once so make sure you choose wisely. I am not telling you that the man you choose to lose it to will be with you forever or who knows maybe he will but just make sure that it's special to you. Love you hun and I hope I answered your questions and good luck with everything and I hope you email me with a follow up on what you decided to do or if you followed through and had sex.

To my readers I want you all to try to give your input on this matter since many of us are parents or sister's, brother's etc. Every piece of advice given Trisha can take into consideration for making a positive choice.

*** Attention all: I will not be releasing a chapter tonight because my little princess Victoria is sick and needs her mommy's full attention but I will be releasing 2 chapters tomorrow to compensate for today's chapter, I also made sure to release sex talk Sunday's blog just so I can give you guys a small read for the day love you all X0x0Xox0X ***

Chapter 9: Orlando

You've made it this far... Yes!!! Thank you all for being such amazing readers, my blog is bringing in people of all walks of life and that's the point of why I even started this blog...so with that said enjoy!!!

I am now a 20 year old mom and reality has smacked me right in the face! It's been years since I last had to wake up with a baby or do bottles, change diapers. I can just tell you all I wasn't ready but that didn't stop me in trying to be the best mom I could be for my son. I had trouble the first 2 weeks when we got home, I had gotten a c-section and the pain was unbearable but I took it like a champ and not once asked for help. My mom knew I was exhausted, Jeremiah was a colic baby and it was bad so she would come in my room in the morning and take over so I could rest even when I didn't ask for help. She knew I was making a statement, I wanted to show her that I could do it, I opened my legs and I could deal with the consequences. Edison in the first few weeks of Jeremiahs life he stuck around to help me, like take me to appointments or shopping or even to watch him so mom and I could have a girls day out. I was diagnosed with post partum depression which lasted about 3 to 4 months but I got over it quickly. I was irritable quickly during that faze but not once did my son frustrate me. I eventually moved on being a single mom and around the time Jeremiah turned 8 months, I wanted to party. I was hanging around with my guy friends nothing sexual til one day I met this guy named Orlando. It was great another guy friend to speak to that spoke English, and we hit it off immediately. We never spoke to eachother in any way other than friendly because I confided in him and told him I thought one of our friends was cute and he would just laugh and give me advice. When I eventually saw that I wouldn't get anywhere with my guy friend I told him and he then admitted that I was pretty and he liked me. That was unexpected but he wasn't bad looking, in fact he was very cute. He has hazel eyes and was white and very funny. I knew that he had a daughter and she was about 3 years old and that didn't bother me since I had a baby too. He started coming daily to my house to hang out with me and mom liked him. He soon became official and we're boyfriend and girlfriend. He lived alone and I would at times sleepover or he would sleepover. Our sex life was good nothing spectacular but satisfying. I ended up staying longer periods of time with him in his house til I moved in about a month after our relationship started. I not once used a contraceptive because I thought I wouldn't get pregnant again, the doctors told me Jeremiah was a miracle baby and my chances of having another child was slim. That revelation was heartbreaking but I was content and thankful that God gave me a chance to be a mother at least once. I remember going out with my mom and feeling exhausted and always hungry. I decided to buy a pregnancy test since my period was a few days delayed, but that was normal for me when my cycle would change so I didn't think anything of it but I wanted to make sure. When I got home I cooked Orlando dinner and took the pregnancy test before he got home from work, and sure enough 3 minutes later the test came back positive. I was confused, I didn't want a child right now and for that matter wasn't ever expecting to become pregnant. When Orlando got home he knew something was up because I was very quiet unlike me since I would jump on him the minute he would come home. So I told him I had something to tell him and I went on to tell him I was pregnant. His expression was angry and hurtful, I didn't expect him to act that way since he was always a sweetheart. We ended up having our first fight that day. I had gotten pregnant 2 months after being with him. He told me I had to get a abortion and I was hurt at first but agreed. One day as I searched for a clinic online I stopped and was thinking things over. How could I kill a innocent baby and what happened if I did and I would never again become pregnant. My mom wasn't really pleased that I became pregnant again so I told her about my idea of having a abortion in front of her friend Ruthy and they almost chewed my head off, telling me how could I even consider that and it could be a little girl and I would have the pair, a boy and girl and that did it for me. I decided to keep my baby. The next day when Orlando was at work I wrote him a letter explaining to him that I had fallen in love with him because we was so good together but I loved my baby more and I was leaving him because he wasn't being supportive with my decision. So I packed up my things and my mom picked me up and I went back home. I didn't hear for him for about 2 weeks til Christmas eve. He called me that night and told me to come over to talk, mom was hesitant telling me how about if he wanted to make sure I lost the baby and would hurt me but I knew he wasn't that kind of person, so I left to go see him. When I arrived he had his daughter with him so I felt more at ease, he sat me down and told me that he loved me and if I wanted to keep the baby he would support my decision. I was very happy finally we could move past this awkwardness and be happy. He told his daughter and she hugged me and kissed me and everything felt right again. I didn't move back in I felt it was best if I stood where I was. He then lost his job, and his apartment and I knew mom would not allow him to move in so I was helpless and he turned to the only person that would help him out, his babymother. This bitch hated me with a passion because she still had feelings for him and she was more than happy to help him and move him back in with her. I was pissed but he assured me that he was on the couch but still I was not so sure about that. I was starting to see who Orlando really was he was a heavy drinker a alcoholic but he would not become violent he would become extra happy so it didn't bother me, then he started feeling comfortable around me and started using cocaine around me and I was in shock but I loved him and acted like it didn't bother me. He was already a user but I didn't know that. His babymother would come pick him up at my house and I would go in a rage but couldn't do anything about it. Time was passing and I would see less and less of him and I knew that it was over. I found out I was having a baby girl and I was so excited, finally a baby to dress up and put bows on. He wasn't so thrilled he wanted a boy. He eventually stopped coming around and I would just bump into him at the bar next to my house and his excuse was that he was always busy. Not once did he give me money to buy the baby anything and I was doing it alone with my mom. I cried everyday throughout the pregnancy suffering from him breaking my heart. Edison would come by to pick up Jeremiah on the weekends with his girl because that's what we had settled on, weekend visitations as if he was Jeremiahs real dad. He would tell me everything will be okay and he was always there if I needed him and he made sure to always tell me that he loved me, and I would smile and say I know. I would talk to Orlando's mom on the phone such a beautiful and sweet woman and she would give me advice and told me not to depend on him. I was finding out truths that he had 3 other children in Chicago 2 boys and a girl and I was stuck on stupid. How fucking stupid was I not to find out about the real him. His daughters mom from Chicago was really nice and we became pretty close talking on the phone, she told me he was a deadbeat and I knew then that my daughter would grow up without a father. I knew I had to be strong enough for both of my babies and I would not let them down. I was soon scheduled for another C-section before my time because my blood pressure was high, I was always stressed and like I said before, HEARTBROKEN! I knew that I needed to at least let him know that she was coming the day before the C-section, so I did and he promised to be there so I took his word. I had to be at the hospital at 6 in the morning to get prepped for surgery and I was just looking at the clock and my phone and he wasn't there. It was time for my C-section and in Puerto Rico no one can be in the room but the doctors so my mom kissed my forehead and said she would be waiting for me when I got out and they took me away. I tried to stay positive saying that he was just running late and he would be outside when I had her. And on August 1, 2011 a beautiful baby girl named Kylie Rose was born weighing 7lbs 12oz and 20 inches long. I cried for the first time when I saw her, she was just perfect and so beautiful and healthy. When I got out of surgery they had brought my baby up to the nursery and I was still in the recovery room and my mom came in and told me that Kylie was gorgeous, I asked her if her father had come and she put her head down and shook her head No. I started to cry, I was angry I knew that he wouldn't come but I still had hope and faith he would do the right thing. The next day he shows up at the hospital unexpected, I was in pain and looked the part I looked horrible. He came in with his million dollar smile like if he didn't do nothing wrong. I was pissed and asked him why he didn't come and he said that he couldn't find a ride and his babymother refused to take him, and I made a mental note to beat that bitch ass once I fully healed. He asked to see Kylie but it wasn't visiting hours time but he told the nurse a lie saying he was working and they let him in to go see her. A while later he came back happy and told me that she was beautiful and tiny and looked just like him, which was painfully true she had blonde hair and gray eyes and white as milk. He told me he had to leave but that he would be back, but he never did. Now it was the day Kylie and I would go home and mommy was still weak and using a wheelchair most of the time and if she walked it would be slow. So she rolled my luggage, while I had to carry the baby in the car seat and diaper bag and was in terrible pain. We had to stop at Walmart to get Kylie formula and the ride there was horrible and bumpy and I felt like dying. I had to go inside because mom couldn't do much so I walked what felt a eternity to the store and bought what I needed. We made it home after a quick stop to get food and I was in bed resting and nursing the baby when Kiara came in the room to tell me Orlando was there. I swear I wanted to grab my brother's bat and beat him in the head but part of me was happy. When I came out his eyes was glossy, he was sweaty and smelled of alcohol and I knew he had come to my house after a sleepless night of partying to see his daughter. I allowed him to briefly carry her but watched in disgust. How can this man not love this child, she was perfect, but he didn't as I didn't see him but once more after that. I was hurt and went into a serious post partum depression and it was really bad, bad to the point I couldn't stand the sight of my daughter. I knew I loved her beyond measure and I knew I had to battle this feeling. As I was depressed I turned to t.v to pass my time and one day I was watching MTV True life: Sugar daddy, and on the show they shared a site where u can find rich men to give you allowance and take care of you, so I said fuck it and gave it a shot. And wouldn't you know I got a response the next day from a man named Ron, he was a white man 52 years old and he lived in Utah, he owned his own company and I knew that I had to jump at this opportunity and quickly. And before you know it my life was about to change....

My thoughts:
This chapter of my life, was very painful one of the most hardest too. What made everything hurt so much was that Orlando and I was great together, we hardly ever argued, always laughed etc til the day I me turned I was pregnant and everything changed. I loved him very much because I could be myself around him but after getting pregnant from him I new he was toxic and I would never be able to be with him. I suffered alot throughout the pregnancy and that caused me to have really bad post partum and for that I hate him, I stood with post partum for a year but you will learn more in Chapter 10. Thank you all for reading today's Chapter love you all very much!!! X0x0Xox0X Remember to leave a comment and follow me for daily updates and don't be afraid to share my blog!!

Chapter 8: Gary

Hey guys I hope all of you have enjoyed my life story so far. I'm going into detail as much as my memory serves me lol and I hope you guys are learning more about me as you read on so with that said here is chapter 8 enjoy!!!

Months has passed by living at grandma's house ( Lhasa house ) and I was having fun being free and getting to know my sister and my brother better. I was getting to see how life was living with my blood siblings and it honestly was fun. My sister Lhasa had a beautiful baby girl named Anastasia which I ended up nick naming Ana stinky due to some very stinky diapers I had to change at times lol but god knows how much it meant to me being a titi to such a smart loving little girl. My brother was always in the streets and he would have his friends over at time but I knew they were off limits as I was warned to stay away better yet his friends new not to even bother with me lol. I remember he had this one friend that was very tall about 6 feet and had long hair that he would have or braided, and I would think he was cute but never really paid any mind to him because he was my brothers friend. One day on valentine's day I was at the firehouse which happens to be a deli getting myself a chopped cheese and I see him, we speak and he introduces himself as gary, we continued talking and I learn that he is single and had no plans that night and I told him me either he asks if he could come by later and I said sure why not. When I get home I tell my sister about Gary and she tells me what I should know about him. I waited for him that night but he never showed up but that didn't bother me being that he did say he would try to come by. The next day he comes over and we talk some more and my brother had a feeling we were trying to get to know one another but he didn't say anything so I was like yessssssss. He started coming by on a regular and eventually we became boyfriend and girlfriend. One day it was my sister's Lhasa and A and my brother and his girl and I believe my brothers friend rocky. Lhasa asks me hey jericka did u know that Gary has one leg bigger than the other and I looked at her as if she lost her mind, then she goes on and asks and have u seen his extra pinky, now I'm dumbfounded. How in holy hell have I not noticed that before? So when Gary comes by later that night I asked him front of everybody about this leg and extra pinky and he starts laughing and everyone else starts cracking up. He goes on and shows me his "extra" pinky which was more like a ugly droopy skin tag and his leg which happens to be skinnier than the other one. I couldn't contain the laughter and started laughing but that didn't change how I felt about him. Everyone in that house was potheads, me included all thanks to my sister lol that's a inside joke she will get it once she reads this blog. One day Gary invites me over to his house to chill and smoke so I agreed. I knew that this would be the day that we would have sex and I was nervous. I remember I wore the best clothes I owned, did my hair and makeup and headed to his house, which was across the street from my Lhasa. When I knocked this woman opened the door and I was not greeted pleasantly, it was his mom! I immediately felt uncomfortable but when gary came I felt more at ease. He introduced us and she said hi and went to her room. He took me to his room and he rolled up and popped in a movie in the dvd player and we smoked and not once paid attention to that damn movie. We just talked and smoked for many hours. We started kissing and he slowly removed my clothing, and we had sex. The sex was great and I never returned home we just kept on having sex like jack rabbits in heat. The next day I got ready and we both left, went to the firehouse to grab a bacon, egg and cheese and went back to his house. We ate and smoked and had more sex. Now I was ready to go home and he was ready to hit the streets. He was a drug dealer, he would sell weed. When I got back home I told my sister what happened and she laughed and that's it conversation was over and it became a normal thing. We did this many times, sleeping over each other's house. One day my sister and I got into a huge fight and I got kicked out. Gary came and helped me grab my things and I moved in with him without once asking his mom. Things was rough there, his mom didn't really like me, hell she didn't like anyone for that matter. She told us we couldn't eat out of her food so we had to buy our own, remember we was 17 going on 18 so I had to depend on gary to sell drugs so we could eat. We had many days that we would go to bed hungry because it was a bad day no sales, but in reality he was a bad drug dealer he dint kow how to hustle right, he would smoke his own merchandise and then would owe the big guys. My mom would send me $200 a month to help me and I remember I would spend a $100 in food and have $100 for whatever I wanted. But one day as I was walking one of the big guys stopped me and told me that Gary owed them money and he needed to pay them back or he would get hurt, so with the money I got I paid his debt off. Gary and I was together almost a year when he got arrested for selling drugs and that left me FUCKED so I had to go to my dad and tell him everything and I was able to live with him again. This time I knew how to deal with him, he no longer affected me nor scared me. Dad ended up in the hospital that week because his health wasn't the best he had cancer and diabetes and he would catch infections all the time, at this point he was in a power wheelchair because they had amputated his feet for stepping on a rusty nail. He was in the hospital for a couple of weeks and I remember gary was out of jail within a month, he was lucky. His mom didn't want him there with me so he refused to live there, so I asked dad if he could live with me there, dad agreed as long as I would cook, clean and gary pay him $100 monthly so I agreed. I remember going to the courthouse hoping the judge would release him and he did. He went home and had crazy loud sex. We took advantage of a empty house and had sex everywhere. When dad came home he was in a bad mood and would talk to me like shit and I was tired of it, I drew the line when he told me that he never loved me the way he loved my other siblings and from that day on the love I had for him had diminished drastically and I cursed his ass out and made sure I hurt his feelings like he did to me. Gary spoke to his mom and we packed and left back to his mom's house. A  months passed and I was already 18 1/2  and he got arrested again, I was tired of this life so I called my mom and grandpa gave her money to send me a ticket back home. When I arrived back home I learned that Edison was living there in my fucking room and I kicked his ass out to the living room I was pissed, I loved gary and missed him terribly. Several weeks passed and he finally got out and discovered that I had left back to Puerto Rico and he called me and begged for me to come back that he missed me, he even had gotten a tattoo on his neck with my name, mind u I had gotten his name on my left shoulder way before. I decided to give this another shot and went back to him after he promised he wouldn't sell drugs anymore, so he promised. I bought my ticket and left again, being there with him felt like home but only thing was that he no longer seller drugs so it was hard for us to eat. His mom eventually gave in and started feeding us what she could but it wasn't enough. I remember one dag I was cleaning the house and the phone rings and his mom answers and she speaks on it for a long while and then calls gary and passes him the phone. It happens to be his dad, he hasn't seen or heard from his dad in years and his dad tells him he lives in Binghamton and he is going great etc. Gary goes on and tells him how he is doing, that he has a girlfriend that lives with him, how he stopped selling drugs but it's been hard to get by and his dad tells him that he will buy us a ticket to Binghamton to go live with him and he will take care of us. We agreed to go because we needed the help and that way Gary could spend time with his dad. That night we jumped on the greyhound and was on our way there. When we arrived he told us to take a cab to his address and he would come down and pay the cab, so when we got there he came down paid the cab and welcomed us with open arms. We felt happy there, his dad had given us the living room and he was so nice, his wife would cook and I would clean. He wanted us to have our own space and told us he was looking for a 2 family house that way he had our own apartment and they had there's but we would eat together til I went and applied to public assistance. His father started to search. At this time I noticed his father was a heavy alcoholic je would drink every chance he got and would have Gary drunk too, and I didn't like that because Gary would become aggressive when he drank. All the time Gary and I were together I never once saw him drunk only when we started living with his dad. His dad wasn't a bad guy he would give us money and buy us our cigarettes but he would drink and drink, and Gary would too. One day they both arrive and Gary starts arguing with me and he gets mad and leaves the apartment but he was stumbling badly so I went after him when he got to the stairs he punched the hallway window and he breaks it and all I see was blood gushing everywhere and he says "see what u make me do". His dad's wife goes on and calls the ambulance and we head to the hospital. I can't tell u if he got stitches or not I don't remember but all I know was that I was pissed. A few days pass and I start feeling really sick, and I knew that I caught the flu. I kept vomiting badly til it hurtled and all that came out was stomach acid, so we decided to go to the hospital. It was the day that Michael Jackson died. I remember being in the waiting room and seeing the breaking news and I was really sad I loved Michael. We later get called in and I had to take a pregnancy test as a routine physical and we were put to wait in a room. That room was nice it had a bed and a nice tv. I had fallen asleep and gary too. When the doctor came in we woke up and the doctor said "well the reason you're violently vomiting is because you're PREGNANT" I looked at that doctor like he had 10 heads, I shook my head and said that's impossible because when I was a teen my gynecologist told me I couldn't have children. The doctor went and set up a songaram to be done and he was absolutely right I was pregnant I was 8 weeks along and I heard my baby's heart beat. We both were very happy. Days passed and his dad found a house and we moved immediately, lucky for me I was pregnant and didn't have to do anything. I was still going through morning sickness badly so crackers and ginger ale was my best friend. When we moved in, we had a nice one bedroom apartment, it was perfect for us. We had a huge bathroom and a nice kitchen, a balcony and a nice livingroom. His bad bought us second hand furniture and it started looking like a home. We immediately went to public assistance and they gave me emergency foodstamps, I remember they gave us like $600 and we were happy and we went food shopping and stacked up everything. Gary had not changed he was still drinking and I suspected him to be be doing cocaine because he told me his dad did. And everytime Gary came home he would be different, violent. One day Gary came home and threatened to kick me in my stomach and pushed me but I fought back, and he left for a walk. During that time I called my mom and told her everything, she knew I was pregnant and I told her I want to go home before I lose my baby. And within a hour she had wired me money to take a greyhound back to NYC but instead of my sister's house, I had to go yo my aunt house somewhere he didn't know where to find me. I didn't know how the fuck I would be able to leave because he came back home. So I called his cousins and told them everything and they told me they would help me not to worry. I packed everything up that I could and told him that I was going to his cousin house til he decided to act right. He pleaded and cried for me not to leave but I knew I had to do what I had to do because things was just going to get worse. The girls picked me up and took me to the greyhound but I had missed the last bus, so that meant I would have to take the first bus in the morning. His cousins spoke to me and told me I didn't have to leave, that I could stay with them and they would help me but all I knew was that I wanted my mom. Gary called me non stop and I didn't answer and the next day I got on the bus without regret. When I arrived I took the train to my sister's house, I was tired and hungry and my uncle was picking me up. Unfortunately it looks like Gary mom saw me and called Gary, but by the time Gary came down I was no where to be found. I stood about a week with my aunt and uncle, it was fun I bonded with them both but they also had a newborn baby and that gave me a chance to practice for my own baby that would soon be here. The week passed and I was on a flight back home. When I arrived my mom was very supportive, and Edison was still living there. Mommy told me she had something to tell me and told me she was diagnosed with cancer! That's why Edison was living there, to keep her company. He was angry that I came back, and pregnant! We always wanted to have a child together but it never happened in all the years we were together, yet I was with Gary 18 months and here I am as pregnant as can be. Edison stood on the couch for a while. We ended up fixing things and he accepted me pregnant and all. Things was different though he was distant and I knew he had a side chick but I didn't care, I cared that I had someone standing by me. Mom grew weak with the chemo and radiation to the point she had to be in a wheelchair but big belly and all I made sure we would beat this together. Time passes and I'm set for this baby, I bought everything it would need. And oh I forgot to mention, I had found out it would be a boy and decided to name him Jeremiah James and would call him JJ for short. Mom and grandpa had bought me the crib and his dresser and a crib in a bag, a travel system car seat & stroller. Edison would give me money to buy whatever else I needed. On February 2, 2010 at the age of 20 I gave birth to a baby boy weighing 7lbs 8 oz and 20 inches long. I gave birth to him in Mayagüez Puerto Rico at 8:23 am. Jeremiah was the only dark colored baby in the nursery and I'm sorry but he was such a ugly baby lol...I'm not going to say he was cute if he wasn't, even mom called my aunt and told her that he was ugly. Mom beat the cancer and said the joy she got from being a grandma cured her, he was going to be one spoiled kid. Gary and I would talk on the phone all the time and I agreed to go for vacation after JJ was 3 months old so he could see him, and at 4 months old I took JJ to see his dad. Gary was happy with his son and he asked for another chance but I couldn't do that. Gary mom and sister had bought JJ so much clothes it was amazing. Gary would disappear for days at a time and I was pissed because he was suppose to spend time with his son. He came back and made up a story about being at his cousin house. But he forgot I had his number, so I called and his cousin told me he hadn't seen gary in months. I was so mad because he lied to me, so I took the clothes he had in my sister's house when he would sleepover to help me with JJ and cut them all up along with his sneakers. I wasn't upset that he had a girlfriend but that he was dishonest and he knew I needed formula and he didn't buy it and I had to bother my dad for money to get the baby milk. Once again my sister and I had a fight and I left her house and went to gary house. I stood there for a few weeks, til Gary and I had a argument over diapers in the street and he told me he was going to throw my clothes out. I remember leaving my son with my nieces grandma and ran after him ready to fuck him up. By time I get upstairs he was throwing my clothes in the project staircase and that's it I lost it. I started fucking him up had his neck on the stove and I dared his mom or sister to jump in because I would hand it to them too. As I held him in a corner I called the cops and when I finished the call he pushed me and fled. Cops came and told me to just leave, I didn't need to deal with his ass. I called my dad told him what happened and he sent one of his friends to help me with all my stuff. The cops was so nice they helped me carry my things over to my dad house when they not suppose to. My dad had spoken to his boys and told them when they see gary to beat his ass, and so they stood watch. I went and picked up my son, I couldn't wait for the day I had to go back home. The day arrived that I had to go home, and I knew it was time to grow up and raise him on my own, but I wasn't afraid because I had my mom to help me. Edison and I eventually broke up, but he stood in JJ life actively, he treated him like his own son and for that I was grateful!!!

My thoughts:
What the fuck was I thinking! Omg I see that my luck always was so bad with guys but probably because I never made the right choices...this relationship with Gary went bad towards the end but he did give me my first born son and I'm thankful for that. As for Edison he was a good guy but lacked being faithful and that's why we ended, we remained friends since he was raising JJ and I loved him for that. He didn't need to do it but he did. So as u guys can see I've had a harsh 20 years of life, but soon things would be great.

Thanks for sticking around and reading Chapter 8 you guys are the best. Stay tuned for Chapter 9: Orlando. Love you all X0x0Xox0X!!!

Chapter 7: Reality in Puerto Rico

Hey guys!!!
Thanks for all of those that directly contacted me to give me such wonderful review, I'm beyond thrilled that many ate enjoying this chapter series of my life. So with that said let's just jump right into Chapter 7....

On the day I was returning home I felt like running away lol but I didn't, I was tired of running everytime I had a problem. On the plane I reflected on my amazing summer and unfortunately it came to a end. Lucky for me I took the night flight and just drifted into a nice restful sleep. When I arrived mom and Edison picked me up at the airport and we drove to our nearest walgreen and went in and bought a vanilla cappuccino then continued on home. Once there mom went to bed and left Edison and I awake and we spoke and I decided to give him another chance but I cut the engagement off. I showered and went to bed where we had sex til the sunrised. As time went on I found out he had cheated on me when I went to New York and I was not thrilled but already had a feeling about it and continued the relationship. I decided I wanted to go back to school and signed up for night classes that helped me get credits faster and graduate high school sooner. I lasted in the school a couple months and dropped out due to teachers missing classes and having to wait 2 hours for the next class. Time went by and one day I received a call from my dad and he was crying and he said he had no one their helping him and he was lonely etc. I knew this was true because he wasn't the kindest man on earth and my sister's had stopped visiting him. I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to bond with my daddy and also a way I can be near my sister's and get close with them. I spoke to my mom and she agreed to send me to live with him, at this point I was turning 17 years old. I was excited but Edison was not, but I really didn't care. We decided to try to work things out for a long distance relationship but deep down I knew that it wouldn't work or better yet I knew that I didn't want it to work, it was my time to grow and work on me. Soon my plane ticket was bought and I left back to New York. Mom had given me money to take cab to my dad's house when I arrived and I did that. When I arrived I saw my brother as soon as I got off and I ran to him. He had a girlfriend named Melanie, and she didn't look to thrilled to see a girl jump on her man but that didn't stop me from giving her the glare of death. My brother then introduced us but I made up my mind, I didn't like her. He helped me bring my luggage up to dad's house. I was very happy to see dad and he was happy too!!! He showed me my room and I was happy I was going to have my own room. It was pretty big and I liked it. He came in and told me house rules and that the next day we would go on and buy me new sheets and comforter for my bed and some stuff to personalize my room, and boy was I excited. That night we ate chinese food and watched movies. The following day we went to Third Avenue and I bought myself a nice bed in a bag, I can't even tell you the color it's been so long since. We next went into a store and I bought candles and a plate to put my jewelry on it. We then went into a discount store where he let me choose my towels, body wash, lotion and some pajamas. Things were going so good but I wish it lasted. Days passed and I was obligated to cook 3 meals a day, clean the bathroom daily, wash clothes every other day and scrubbing the floors on my hands and knees. When I was done I would tell dad I was going to my sister's house that lived on the other side of the projects. I swear I wouldn't be there a hour and he would call for me to go back home. I was starting to see that living with my dad was the worst idea I've ever had, he never needed company he needed a maid and I was stupid enough to fall for it. The following week I was at my sister Lhasa house and he calls for me to go home after a half hour of arriving and my site told me to tell him I'll be there soon, but the response I got was to go to get my things and move in with my sister. Omg I was heartbroken to say the least and for the first time in my life I felt stranded. I asked my sister if I could stay with her because dad kicked me out, and all I got from her was a yes and I told u so! She went over with me and helped me pack up my things, I then left my dad's house without a word, regretting leaving my home in Puerto Rico to then being homeless. I stood with my sister for a little less than a year and in that time I became single Edison and I was not working out and months after I met someone that would leave a mark in my life forever!!!

My thoughts:
As I re-read this chapter I see how impulsive I was and smh but I also can't believe my dad did that to me, but then again this is the same person that never protested giving me up as a baby. My sister Lhasa always been there for me when I needed her the most, and in that year we became close. My life always been a damn roller-coaster but through it all I learned life lessons from it. So when you feel like giving up just know that things get better with time.

I hope you guys enjoyed Chapter 7, nothing really interesting happened Chapter 8 should be more intense. Thanks for reading and stay tuned for Chapter 8: Gary coming in a little while as today I'll be posting 2 chapters since yesterday I didn't post a chapter due to tiredness. Hey being a mom to 5 is alot of work lol...X0x0Xox0X

Chapter 6: New York Rebel

Hey loves!!
So today we will be going into my epic adventures in New York City at my friend Maddy house. I will be mentioning only first letter of the guys name just because I'm still good friends with them now 10 years later and would want to protect their identity. For those close to me they would know who I'm talking about and I ask for you guys not to tag or mention their names. And if they guys inbox me through Facebook and give me the okay to use their name after I publish this vlog then I would edit and use their names. I hope you guys have enjoyed my life story so far, and I hope you guys will continue reading and I would love feedback good or bad it's okay, it's your opinion and no hard feelings will be held against u. Comment are now available to all to write not just Google members. So read on for Chapter 6...

So mom was going to New York for 3 weeks while I was staying for 6 weeks. My boyfriend Edison was not at all happy, I believe he was afraid I would leave him. My phone had messed up and he gave me a spare cell phone he had that was prepaid and loaded it with massive minutes so we could stay in contact with eachother. The day I arrived to the airport I was traveling alone since mom was arriving after me. I said my farewell and went through those doors, and for the first time in years I felt alive and free, finally going back to my stomping grounds. I arrived to NYC 3 hours later and my uncle Robert picked me up and dropped me off at my friend house. When I saw her we hugged for what seemed like forever. We had so much to catch up on, during these years that passed her mom had passed away and alot had happened to us both. The next day we got dressed, I put on my makeup, did our hair and I was ready to enjoy being back in the hood. We decided to go play some handball and the handball courts up the block, it was summer and I wanted to let loose and bond with my girl and that we did. We was hot and tired and of course she whooped my ass lol so we sat down to rest. We started to speak to old friends I haven't seen in a while. Among those friends was our friend Oscar and years did him well, he was tall and handsome a feast for my eyes. We spoke and he asked if he could come over and chill and Maddy agreed. I didn't think much about him coming over it wasn't a big deal he was our friend and I thought it would be great to catch up and talk shit. He arrived later that evening, we spoke and obviously there was a immediate connection. Now yeah many of you guys may be like damn your ass play no games but the truth was I had no plans in pursuing him, flirting was always okay in Jay's book lol, and that we did a lot of. I can't tell you guys if we kissed that day or not but I think we did, and he left. I remember telling Maddy that he was fine and how I never noticed that years before. We laughed and started our night. The night was still young and I'll tell you I don't know how I didn't become a alcoholic that summer as much as we drank and passed out. A few days passed of talking with Oscar and it was going great, and it wasn't going so great with Edison. Edison was hanging out every night and I know that meant getting his dick wet for sure, one thing I am not is stupid and I knew that would happen. So I cut it off with him and he didn't put much of a fight up, mom was leaving him in our house to watch it and the car while she was gone and I fucking new he would have a blast there bringing women. At this time I didn't care I wasn't letting my thoughts get the best of me on my vacation, so be free little bird be free because this bird was about to spread her wings. Oscar had invited me to the little Italy fair and we went and I had fun, it felt natural being with him, no need to be someone else because we knew each other and it felt good. We played, held hands like a couple. When we got back their was a lot of sexual tension between. Him and I, and I was ready to cool off the heat but instead it got hotter 裸.... one thing led to the other and I was being put in every kind of position you could think of and shit my ass was beyond impressed, who the fuck would've thought I could've gotten carried and fucked oh so well......things was great, and we got in what I would call a vacation-ship aka a summer romance. I was happy and felt alive, he kept a smile on my face always things couldn't get bad, could it? Well yeah it could, life was never kind to me so I was use to it but I was very hurt I really, really liked him and I was slowly falling for him, I was getting it bad. He one day came over and broke it off with me because his ex thought she was pregnant or was pregnant I don't really remember. And as he turned away a part of me died but I refused to cry in front of him, and as soon as he left I went to the living room and cried what felt like hours. That night I hung out with Maddy and the guys, the guys being her brother and his friends, Chris was a friend of ours and he was a bartender so needless to say we was getting shit faced wasted and I was okay with that because I got my heart hurt not broken but deeply hurt. I was was soon introduced to one of Maddy friend a girl named K she had a beautiful baby boy. She was dating a guy named N, he was always chilling with Maddy bro as that was his best friend. She was pretty cool but she was kind of a broken soul, somewhat like me. To make things short she was cheating on the kid named N and I knew about. One day I left Maddy sleeping and I went outside to hang out with the guys mainly Maddy brother and Chris, N and a few others, I always felt comfy with guys because I sort of fit in better with them. We drank and drank and drank and N and I started conversing and I slipped up and mentioned how it was fucked up that K was cheating. YES KILL ME NOW!!! I was drunk and blabbing off way to much because I felt kind of bad for the kid. I never noticed how Maddy brother went upstairs and I had forgotten the keys upstairs. I chilled with the other guys and I was exhausted so I called it a night and was going to head upstairs but I was fucking locked out...I rang the bell but no answer...I was fucked!!! N offered me to sleep at his place and I was really hesitant only because I didn't want anyone to think wrong, and I was hoping Oscar and I would figure something out. He was a complete gentleman we spoke, laughed then headed to his room and I took the couch. I can't tell u if that couch was comfy but shit I slept like a baby. The next morning Maddy was looking around for me like crazy like a big sister that lost a sister at the mall lol, I called and told her where I was at and all I heard was oh boy, K had slept over and heard that so she thought I was probably fucking him but girl please I was not interested. Needless to say I lost her friendship quick. I didn't really care about it because I had only just met her so it didn't matter, but I became super cool with N and we decided to " get " together to get her back for cheating. Its was a great idea til Oscar decided to come back and said his ex wasn't pregnant but I had already agreed to N about this fake relationship and I'm a true friend I wasn't going to leave him hanging and with all the pain in my heart I had to tell Oscar I was with N and he was pissed, I would've told him that it was fake but everyone had to think it was real for it to work and I knew that was the end of us and again that night I cried myself to sleep. Anyways back to N, he would sleepover in Maddy room with us but he had the floor just to make it believable. One night we both decided fuck it let's have drunk sex and let me tell u it was a disaster, I had to even wake Maddy up and drag her to the bathroom because I was pissed. We practiced safe sex but this guy had the ultimate small dick of all dicks, if I had to measure I would say 3 inches and that's maybe adding a extra inch. It was just horrible worst sex I have ever had I didn't feel shit it was like tickle me Elmo. After that I had to say peace bruh it's not working out and never told him why but said we can be friends. There was just one tiny problem he was living in that house with Maddy brother and he had caught feelings for me and it was bad. At this point I wanted to go back to Oscar and tell him everything but please that man didn't even want to look at me, so I took that lost and I wish I would've tried harder but I didn't. So I went back to sleepless nights partying with my bestie and the guys it was good to be carefree and single again, I was ready to party harder. One day Maddy gets a call from a guy named L and when she hung up she told me all about him and I was curious to see who the hell was this guy from Boston was and she mentioned he had a big dick, shit I was single and I was ready to fucking mingle, I had to relationship no worries. The day came and I met this guy he was cute, very tall, lighter than me, he had a resemblance of Chris Brown, just that C.Breezy was 100x hotter lol. We immediately hit it off and I learned he was friends with Oscar and N  and I was like oh just great there goes my fuck, I wasn't going to sit here and fuck my ex's friend but then I thought fuck it I ain't staying in New York, so what happens in NYC stays here and I was a girl on a mission and I wanted to find out what laid in those pants. We spoke and drank and chilled, flirted etc. Then came one night we was drunk out of our ass and every time Maddy brother and N walked out, we just had sex and that happened multiple times in one night, just the rush of hurrying before they came back was fun. I knew N had feelings for me and I didn't want him to be hurt. Well it became a regular basis fuck. He would at times sleepover and he would stay in Maddy room because it was the only room with a air conditioner and summer in NY can be brutal. So while Maddy slept we would fuck, til one night it looks like N was suspecting that L and I was fucking around and he was jealous and I'm pretty sure he was drunk too. He started pounding on the door and my ass flew off L and got dressed jumped in the bed with Maddy and he told me he would solve the issue. So L steps out with no shirt on, probably smelled like sex and I'm pretty sure he was flushed as was I and spoke to him til he calmed down and he came back in the room but N stood in the kitchen cursing and slamming shit but fuck it let him be and we continued with our activities. This lasted til he left to Boston, I would go to his dad's place or in Maddy house and it was just pure fun, no strings attached. I would speak to Edison at times but nothing serious but I knew I would have to deal with his ass when I got back. My summer is NYC was the best, it probably would've been better who knows if I would've stood with Oscar just because feelings were there and I would've just been with him but unfortunately life don't play by the books and it went differently. Summer had come to a end and I had to eventually leave, I was sad because I was really going to miss my bestie and friends but one thing I do know was that I had a blast and memories to last me a lifetime. But reality was waiting for me in Puerto Rico and that I wasn't happy about...!!!

My thoughts:
So as you guys read my summer had romance, lust, heartbreak and fun. As I look back now I'm like holy shit what was I thinking lol but hello I'm sticking with I was young and dumb as my excuse. Do I regret any of it? Yes some things but others I didn't. What I experienced that summer was life lessons and memories and I'm okay with that because I learned from them and it's played apart in who I am today. So thank you guys for reading chapter 6 I hope it was a good read and it helps u understand my crazy life somewhat better. So lookout for Chapter 7: Reality in Puerto Rico.... so til tomorrow X0x0Xox0X 