Hey guys!!! I want to start off thanking everyone who is following up this this mini series of my life story. Enjoy Chapter 2 and remember tomorrow is sex talk Sunday's and Chapter 3.
I remember as a child knowing who my daddy was and having a titi that I would see here and there but what I didn't know was that she was really my bio mom Cindy, I remember her picking me up and my siblings and take us for a walk and they would call her mom but I was the only one calling her titi, but I never found it strange til one day my sister A told me I was adopted and titi Cindy was actually my mom, I never even bothered to ask my mom because in the end I didn't care because she was my mom and I loved her no less. When I turned 5 she told me and I told her I already knew and I didn't care I remember how she smiled and hugged me so tight and she told me over and over I love you. I was a pretty shy and quiet child growing up, use to being alone being I was the only child. I was also very spoiled and got everything but if I behaved which I always did. My mom Rosemary started a relationship with the only other man that I considered my father his name was Fernando. He was amazing spoiled me and loved me just as if I was his. By the time I turned 4 they had broken up and it tore me up because my daddy was no longer going to be home with us. Like I previously mentioned I always knew who my father was, that part of the family I knew very well. I was very close growing up to my paternal grandma Rosa...Oh man that woman was incredible. She would spoil all of us rotten, when we would sleepover we all got baby bottles with hot milk and sugar no matter what age we were. My grandma was very comical she would sit in her rocking chair and my mom would call me yelling and my grandma would be acting dead and I would try to wake her and she would jump out at me to scare me and I use to hate that kind of game I always felt that she shouldn't play like that. Well on April 27,1995 my grandma had called my mom and told her to come over she wasn't feeling well and wanted mommy to make her a soup so my mom picked up my titi Yvonne and cousin to do what they always did hang out at grandma's. I remember clear as day that my cousin and I were playing in the bathroom with a water gun and I heard my mom screaming at the top of her lungs Help! So ofcourse I had to go see what was going on, as I walked in the living room I saw my grandma faking her death again so I was like ugh whatever but mommy screamed and I saw her punching grandma in the chest and grandma would come back to life. The minute I saw tears in her eyes I knew that my favorite grandma wasn't playing and it was actually happening. I remember running with my sister's to get my dad at his favorite spot " The block " I can't tell u what my sister was saying but I remember rushing back home and seen that grandma was now pale and mommy was still punching her back because that was the only way she would come back. The ambulance showed up about half hour too late, we all knew she was gone but didn't want to believe it and at Lincoln hospital she was declared dead. She died of a massive heart attack and the percentage of survival are slim. On that day a piece of my heart was taken away. I became less talkative, in school I would draw 2 caskets one of my grandma and one for me, that's when I was diagnosed with depression at the age of 5. I didn't cry or mourn her death til a month after she was gone, I was to small to understand that she was in heaven . I had to undergo a year of intensive therapy and I got somewhat better. As months went by my mom was suffering badly, she went out dancing one night and met a man his name was Martin Campusano a name I can't forget even if I tried. She was very happy, she looked happy again and not much time went pass and they got married in Bronx court house. I remember he was heavy into Santeria which is in other words voodoo. Mom discovered it one day when she was sweeping and mopping she knocked a liquid down. I can't tell u what exactly was in the cup but the shit stunk badly in the cup my mom found her hair and a picture of them both, I'm pretty sure it must of been something to keep them together. But even after this discovery they stood together. I can tell u I was never fond of him, I hated him and I needed my daddy fernando back. Now I'm 8 years old, a beautiful chunky girl with hair past her back, One night I felt strange and woke up to find Martin on his knees by my bed and my panties at my knees, as I went to scream he placed his hands on my mouth and quietly said this " Si gritas, o hablas de esto con tu mami o otra persona te mato tu mama y a tu abuelo ", Now translating in english he said if I screamed or told my mom about this he would kill her and my grandpa. Now I'm afraid of going to sleep or being in my own home. I was getting molested almost every night and I would cry silently, hoping that death would put me out this misery but I would never tell anyone because I didn't want my family to get hurt. One day while I slept he came to do his night routine touch my privates and jerk his dick til he came in his hand and kiss me on my forehead but this night would be different I would be saved from this torture. My mom came out quietly from the room because she didn't see Martin in bed and she caught him on his knees with my panties down while I was asleep. My mom had a big glass ashtray that was very heavy and she grabbed it and cracked his head open and told him to leave. I don't know why she never called the police. Soon after one of them filed for divorce and he later fled to the Dominican Republic. Once again I had to go through intensive therapy because I became very depressed. When I was 10, My sister A had a baby prematurely at 6 months pregnant she was born 1lb 14 oz, she had a brain leakage and her lungs had collapsed. She stood in the hospital for 5 months. My sister was young and dumb, and couldn't care for her so she asked my mom if she was willing to take her til she got on her feet and my mom said yes that way I wouldn't be the only child. Omg I was so happy when mommy picked her up fresh out the hospital at this point she was the size of a normal newborn baby at 5 months old, and her name was Kiara. Only if I knew, that my life wasn't going to get better only worse from that point on....
My thoughts:
As I wrote this Chapter I was overwhelmed with feelings this is the first time I would let the world know the true, raw me but I had to do it. I wanted everyone to know that behind today's smile is story. As I re-read what I wrote I just can smh on how naive I was in believing lies. I also see how a loved ones death affected me to my core. But behind all of that I am now a strong woman. I know on yesterday's blog I said I would write from age 1 thru 5 but I decided to do til I was 10 because now is when the drama begins. Thank u for reading and don't be afraid to leave a comment. Stay tuned for tomorrow's blog from age 10 to 15. Love you all....X0x0X0x0X
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